


Ratty

by yeaka



Category: TOLKIEN J. R. R. - Works & Related Fandoms, The Lord of the Rings - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Gen, Vignette
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-11
Updated: 2019-11-11
Packaged: 2021-01-29 00:46:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 625
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21401374
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yeaka/pseuds/yeaka
Summary: Aragorn, Gimli, and Legolas live together.
Comments: 2
Kudos: 47





	Ratty

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I don’t own The Lord of the Rings or any of its contents, and I’m not making any money off this.

Given their three conflicting cultures, sleep cycles, and schedules, it can be extremely difficult to get them all in the same place at the same time, but Aragorn litters the house with post-it notes to remind everyone of their meeting. Legolas emerges from his bedroom at precisely ten o’clock on Wednesday morning, looking as though he’s been up for hours, running laps and singing to birds. He’s fully dressed in dark skinny-jeans and a green sweater that looks perfect on him. His long, pale golden hair streams down his shoulders, immaculately brushed, like something out of a shampoo commercial. Then Gimli stumbles in at ten after in his pajamas and his auburn hair in a wrestling match with his skull. 

Aragorn’s ready and waiting, seated in the armchair facing the couch, the old one that Elrond handed down to him and doesn’t match anything else in their decor. Granted, very few things in their apartment match. It’s an eccentric, eclectic mishmash of everything imaginable, but for the most part, they may it work. 

Then, every once in a while, a new problem rears its head, and Aragorn is reminded of the difficulty of living with two other grown men. 

They both look at him expectantly, and Aragorn starts, “We need to talk about the shower.”

“It’s too small,” Gimli mutters, instantly joining in. “It’s so cramped in there, and when are we going to spring for a proper tub? We need a nice, warm bath to relax into at the end of a long day!”

“I’m quite content with our shower,” Legolas chimes, “but I will pitch in if you both want a bathtub.”

None of them can afford a bathtub, not even splitting it three ways—not unless Legolas’ father comes through again, but he stopped helping them when he realized their third roommate was a dwarf. Aragorn doesn’t even bother going down that avenue. He explains, “I mean more the plumbing problem.”

“’S backed up again?” Gimli grumbles. “That infernal thing is giving out every second—”

“I’m more concerned with _why_ it’s always backing up,” Aragorn cuts in. “We can’t afford to be calling over a plumber every week. I had Boromir come over and look at it the other day—he said there’s nothing wrong with the plumbing.”

“Nothing wrong my butt—”

“The problem,” Aragorn loudly interjects, “is hair.”

Gimli blinks. Legolas repeats, “Hair?”

“Yes. Let’s face it, we all have a lot of it. But especially you, Gimli.” He turns to his Dwarven friend, who stiffens, obviously offended.

“Me?” he splutters. “How do you know the hair is mine?” Then he actually swivels around to point at Legolas. “Maybe it’s the elf’s!”

Aragorn lifts an eyebrow. He doesn’t need to say any more. Gimli glances at Legolas accusingly, and Legolas blinks back down at him. Legolas’ long, silken blond strands couldn’t possibly be more different than Gimli’s short, dark curls. Gimli seems to belatedly realize this, and he slowly withdraws, muttering, “Well... he must shed a lot too.”

“We all do,” Aragorn agrees, even though he and Legolas shed nowhere near as much as Gimli does. And even though a few of Legolas’ hairs were discovered in the pipes, Boromir noted, with obvious astonishment, that they mostly slithered through without any trouble. Aragorn’s and Gimli’s were the ones found in clumps. “Which is why we need to buy a drain cover and clean the tub out often.”

Legolas nods. “Understandable.”

Gimli doesn’t look too pleased, but he grunts, “Fine. ...Now can we talk about getting a tub?”

“And I would like more plants for the balcony,” Legolas chimes.

“And a bigger TV!”

“I think we should also discuss our food choices.”

Aragorn sighs, and the meeting spins off into other things.


End file.
